WORK! and lots of it. like I was telling a friend - 2 days is the new 2 weeks. clients are now expecting these ridiculous creative turnarounds. it wasn't THAT long ago when I had time to think about a design project then sketch then execute. these days I barely have a (recycled) concept on my screen and the clients start ringing me up. "when can I see something?" bastards.
I was thinking the other night (major insomnia) about how super lucky b and I are with ginny in our life. first of all, how is it possible to have insomnia when you are dead tired? seriously? this little girl brings us such profound joy. just this morning I woke up in a crap and sour mood. sunday is, in theory, my morning to sleep in. but there was NO sleepin' in today or next sunday or the sunday after that because we have such a sucky mattress. your back can't tolerate anything past 8 am. how cruel! in my achy, grumpy state I was welcomed into the living room with a giant, sloppy, snotty nosed, open mouthed kiss for mumma. ahhhhh. the day is good!
even with such a beautiful miracle in our life this blog will continue to be an Infertility Blog. I dreamt on thursday night we were going to use DEs. in real life I'm not ruling that out. I'm also thinking a lot about adoption. once b finishes his training I hope to scream "piss of IF!" and continue on a different path to build our family. to be continued...
08 November 2009
12 October 2009
09 October 2009
*sigh*
those shoes.
right now I'm freaking out for 3 very lovely ladies - 2 at cornell and one at ccrm. each is at a different stage of waiting and hoping in this IF bullshit. all of them have gone through multiple IVFs - a combined total close to 14. fuck! one has her DE beta on tuesday. one has her fresh cycle transfer on saturday. one is planning her uterine biopsies for her upcoming FET. each one has already been through so much. way TOO much for anyone. all 3 are living in limbo and that is a terrible way to exist. it's like you go through the motions of everyday life while holding your breath. you anticipate that moment. will it be incredibly joyful or another heartwrenching disappointment? it's full-on torture if you ask me. screw waterboarding (whatever that is.) IVF is a more effective method to induce pain and suffering.
please, please, PLEASE send extra special positive (specifically BFP) vibes and thoughts to CR, EB and AD. these strong ladies need all the support they can get. I have been in their shoes and it SUCKS horribly. not a day goes by that I forget "where I came from." if I'm not physically experiencing the shots and u/s and b/w etc., I'm living it again through so many (too many) wonderful and deserving women. I'm sad yet I'm full of hope. I want to cry tears of happiness for a change.
I'll say it agin. fuck you IF.
right now I'm freaking out for 3 very lovely ladies - 2 at cornell and one at ccrm. each is at a different stage of waiting and hoping in this IF bullshit. all of them have gone through multiple IVFs - a combined total close to 14. fuck! one has her DE beta on tuesday. one has her fresh cycle transfer on saturday. one is planning her uterine biopsies for her upcoming FET. each one has already been through so much. way TOO much for anyone. all 3 are living in limbo and that is a terrible way to exist. it's like you go through the motions of everyday life while holding your breath. you anticipate that moment. will it be incredibly joyful or another heartwrenching disappointment? it's full-on torture if you ask me. screw waterboarding (whatever that is.) IVF is a more effective method to induce pain and suffering.
please, please, PLEASE send extra special positive (specifically BFP) vibes and thoughts to CR, EB and AD. these strong ladies need all the support they can get. I have been in their shoes and it SUCKS horribly. not a day goes by that I forget "where I came from." if I'm not physically experiencing the shots and u/s and b/w etc., I'm living it again through so many (too many) wonderful and deserving women. I'm sad yet I'm full of hope. I want to cry tears of happiness for a change.
I'll say it agin. fuck you IF.
07 October 2009
2 turntables and a microphone
b has been working the dreaded nightshift again. when we don't see dada for a week this mama has no time to post. I'm still slowly nibbling away at my thank you notes list from ginny's birthday. "down time" is a luxury these days.
so I finally enrolled ginny in the much anticipated music class. after a lot of research I found an affordable option. dude, it's crazy to think that $245 is "affordable!" yes, it's a hike to get there. yes, it's more than PACKED. yes, it's filled with disinterested nannies and pushy moms. and yes, all the instruments are tired and/or broken. but $245 -- score!
ginny LOVED her trial class at the other place so I was very excited to find this deal. but guess what? she HATES it! today was class number 3 and she cried (full-on tears and major frown face) most of the time. a little boy pummeled her to the ground during a cure tune. seriously, who plays just like heaven in a class for toddlers? did I date this guy in college?
so after 45 minutes I packed up my very unhappy child and got the hell outta there. the little girl in polka dot tights, ruffled denim skirt and red puffy eyes. will we go back and try it again? I'm not so sure. like they say "3 strikes you're out!" all of a sudden $245 for 3 very disappointing classes doesn't seem like such a bargain.
sucky.
so I finally enrolled ginny in the much anticipated music class. after a lot of research I found an affordable option. dude, it's crazy to think that $245 is "affordable!" yes, it's a hike to get there. yes, it's more than PACKED. yes, it's filled with disinterested nannies and pushy moms. and yes, all the instruments are tired and/or broken. but $245 -- score!
ginny LOVED her trial class at the other place so I was very excited to find this deal. but guess what? she HATES it! today was class number 3 and she cried (full-on tears and major frown face) most of the time. a little boy pummeled her to the ground during a cure tune. seriously, who plays just like heaven in a class for toddlers? did I date this guy in college?
so after 45 minutes I packed up my very unhappy child and got the hell outta there. the little girl in polka dot tights, ruffled denim skirt and red puffy eyes. will we go back and try it again? I'm not so sure. like they say "3 strikes you're out!" all of a sudden $245 for 3 very disappointing classes doesn't seem like such a bargain.
sucky.
30 September 2009
a "borrowed" post
we went to a fab birthday party (fellow cornell IVFer) last saturday and the very talented A took some really great shots. this post is stolen from becoming mom. cool!
21 September 2009
it pays to be social
and you pay BIG Time!
ginny and I went to our first official music class last week. it was a free trial and we (I) was curious to see what the hoopla was all about. first of all, it was a no nap day, we had some teething action going on (specifically molars,) and we were both a little "on the cranky side." the class was a few blocks away so what the hell. "let's give it a go!" if ginny had a complete meltdown we could easily be back in the apartment in the matter of minutes.
much to my surprise, my child could not have been happier. she squealed with delight playing all the instruments. she clapped and danced to all the singing (even her mother's.) ginny was the center of attention! she was the music together it girl!
I was sold. I had to sign up for classes asap. the weather is getting cooler and soon the park will be closed for the winter months. we have a little social butterfly on our hands so we must keep her active and entertained with kids her own age. and music is good!
good until you see the price -- $490! and that's CHEAP! cheap for the UES. the same exact class is offered in brooklyn for $185. just because we live in the most expensive neighborhood in the US (maybe the world) doesn't mean we have lots of money. on the contrary actually.
so my mission began. must. find. music class. for ginny.
oh, I found one. lots of them.
hands on... (all miniature instruments) - $560 + $35 yearly fee
... little birds (teaches elementary music theory) - $600 + $35 yearly fee
... maestros (complete with full live band) - $695!
are you friggin' kidding me?! all ginny really needs is a few friends, maybe a harmonica, a tambourine and a couple of drums. elementary music theory, my ass.
geez.
ginny and I went to our first official music class last week. it was a free trial and we (I) was curious to see what the hoopla was all about. first of all, it was a no nap day, we had some teething action going on (specifically molars,) and we were both a little "on the cranky side." the class was a few blocks away so what the hell. "let's give it a go!" if ginny had a complete meltdown we could easily be back in the apartment in the matter of minutes.
much to my surprise, my child could not have been happier. she squealed with delight playing all the instruments. she clapped and danced to all the singing (even her mother's.) ginny was the center of attention! she was the music together it girl!
I was sold. I had to sign up for classes asap. the weather is getting cooler and soon the park will be closed for the winter months. we have a little social butterfly on our hands so we must keep her active and entertained with kids her own age. and music is good!
good until you see the price -- $490! and that's CHEAP! cheap for the UES. the same exact class is offered in brooklyn for $185. just because we live in the most expensive neighborhood in the US (maybe the world) doesn't mean we have lots of money. on the contrary actually.
so my mission began. must. find. music class. for ginny.
oh, I found one. lots of them.
hands on... (all miniature instruments) - $560 + $35 yearly fee
... little birds (teaches elementary music theory) - $600 + $35 yearly fee
... maestros (complete with full live band) - $695!
are you friggin' kidding me?! all ginny really needs is a few friends, maybe a harmonica, a tambourine and a couple of drums. elementary music theory, my ass.
geez.
17 September 2009
holdin' down the fort
all by my lonesome. b had been away for almost 2 weeks. 1 week working the shitty night shift and the next he was in utah. man, I was so hoping he'd bring me home a wife! polygamy sounds pretty damn appealing these days. between nanny shopping and work there's been no time for posting. or knitting. or reading. or writing thank you notes (they're late!) or much of anything. but I do have a couple recent pics to share -
our sweet little miracle. the love and light of my life. I'm so flippin' lucky!
our sweet little miracle. the love and light of my life. I'm so flippin' lucky!
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